ERIS
GODDESS OF CHAOS AND DISCORD
The Myth of the Apple of Discord
It Seems that Zeus was
preparing a wedding banquet for Peleus and Thetus and did not want to invite Eris due to
her reputation as a troublemaker.*
This made Eris angry, and so she
made an apple of pure gold** and inscribed upon it KALLISTI ("To the prettiest
one") and on the day of the fete
she rolled the apple into the banquet hall and left to joyously partake of a hot dog
(whereupon she met a grinning Malichor, but thats another story)
Now three of the invited
Goddesses*** Athena, Hera, and Aphrodite each immediately claimed the apple for herself
because of the inscription
and they started a Deity level cat fight, throwing punch everywhere and onto everything.
Finally Zeus calmed things down
and declared that an arbitrater must be selected, which was a reasonable suggestion, and
they all agreed. He sent them to a sheperd of Troy, whos name was Paris because his mother
had a lot of gaul and married a Frenchman; but each of the sneaky Goddesses had tried to
outwit each other by going early and offering a bribe to Paris.
Athena offered him heroic war
victories, Hera offered him great wealth, and Aphrodite offered him the most beautiful
woman on earth. Being a healthy young Trojan lad, he accepted Aphrodites bribe and she got
the apple, and he got screwed
As she promised she manuvered
earthly happenings so that Paris could have Helen (yes THE Helen) then living with her
husband Menelaus, King of Sparta. Anyway everyone knows that the Trojan War followed when
sparta demanded thier Queen back, and that the Trojan war is said to be the First War
among Men.
And so we suffer because of the
Original Snub.
And so a Discordian is to partake of NO hot dog buns.
Do you believe that?
** There is historic dissagreement concerning whether this apple was of metalic
gold, or acapulco
*** Actually there were 5 Goddesses, but the Greeks did not know of the Doctrine of fives.
TO
THE PENTABARF
(TEMPLE CHARTER...OF SORTS)
